The Crossroads

He suddenly recalled Sonia's words, "Go to the crossroads, bow down to the people, kiss the earth, for you have sinned against it too, and say aloud to the whole world, 'I am a murderer.'"

I honestly feel that this is the most powerful passage in Crime and Punishment. Raskolnikov admitted to Sonia that he had killed Aliona Ivanovna, and above was Sonia's reply (once she had recovered from the shock).

Although Sonia is not the main character in the novel, she is one of (if not my most) favorite characters. Sonia always did everything she could to help those in need. Sonia became a prostitute to help financially support her family. She continued to support her step-mother after her father passed away, and she cared for her step-siblings after her step- mother passed away. Not to mention, Sonia loved and provided moral support for Raskolnikov.

Many people pity Sonia, and I do in a way, but mostly I admire her. Sonia was incredibly strong; and her inner beauty and faith was of such a degree that no other character could compare.

Crime and Punishment

I've been hesitant to post about Crime and Punishment because I have read it before, and I didn't want to give anything away. However, since we are approaching the finish of the novel, I figure that it's all right to start posting about Crime and Punishment....especially because the cranky old man is grading a blog post on it.

Arkady Ivanovich Svidrigailov was Dunia's former employer. Although Svidrigailov was married, he was infatuated with Dunia and according to Pulcheria Alexandrovna (Dunia and Rodia's mother) Svidrigailov "[...] lost all control and dared to make Dunia an open and vile proposal, promising her all sorts of inducements and offering, besides, to drop everything and take her to another estate of his, or even abroad!"

Unfortunately, Svidrigailov's wife (Marfa Petrovna) over- heard. Dunia was fired, and Marfa went around the village slandering her name. Svidrigailov, however, argued with his wife on behalf of Dunia's innocence; Marfa was finally convinced, and arranged a marriage for Dunia with one of her distant relations, Peter Petrovich Luzhin.

Luzhin, Dunia, and Pulcheria later moved to St. Petersburg, where Rodia was loging. Svidrigailov journeyed to St. Petersburg, as well, after his wife had died; he visited Rodia and stated that he no longer had feelings for Dunia, but he did not wish her to marry Luzhin because he was not a respectable man.

Dunia did call off the engagement because Luzhin did not respect, and was cruel to Rodia, Pulcheria, and her.

Many would see Svidrigailov as a romantic hero. He was willing to leave his wife for Dunia, he begged his wife to save her reputation, and he could not bare to see her marry a man that would treat her unkindly.

However, Svidrigailov can also be viewed as the negation of a romantic hero. He was willing to abandon his wife and children for younger woman. He ruined Dunia's reputation by proposing to her. Not to mention, he wanted to convince her to break off her engagement, which would have brought her and her family out of poverty, and yet he did not want to marry her himself; thus, he was essentially leaving her on her own, without a penny (or kopeck I should say).

I'm not one for being comforted.

In the New Testament, Matthew 5:3-11 reads:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they which do not hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake."

I takes serious issue with "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted". I don't want to be comforted.... I don't want to be mourning and grieving in the first place.

When a loved one has died, visitors often say things that make the grieving feel so much worse. Take for example,"Oh it must have been so hard for you to be there"; "There's a reason for everything"; or "He's in a better place now." Whenever I hear that, I want to reply with a very nasty phrase.

I believe in heaven, and I know that he's in a better place, but what about the ones who are left behind? Blessed are not the ones who mourn... Blessed are the ones in heaven.... the ones who mourn are left with feelings of emptiness, disbelief, and agony; and these feelings are sometimes impossible to overcome, no matter how hard one tries to escape from it. The hole in one's heart becomes a parasite that begins to grow, and slowly eat away at the rest of one's being.

The dead are at peace, but the living must continue on in a world that causes suffering. Honestly, people should not grieve for the dead, but for the living.

Monet Monday: 11/10/08

"Bordighera" was painted by Monet in Riviera Italy, in 1884. When describing Italy, Monet said, "C'est un pays féerique et terriblement difficile, il faudrait une palette de diamants et de pierreries." Translation: "It is a magical and terribly difficult land, I almost need a palette of diamonds and jewelleries."

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I recently attended a funeral. The deceased's son read one of the most beautiful poems that I have ever heard. It's called "Do not Stand at My Grave and Weep." I was written by Mary Frye in 1932:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

For Beautiful Eyes

I am in a quotation phase. I absolutely love quotes.... yes, I do realize how geeky that sounds. However, I believe that much wisdom and knowledge can be absorbed through quotations. Thus, I do declare that I will attempt to post a meaningful quotes on Thurdays. Oh, and fyi there is a 'quote of the day' at the bottom of my page.

For today's quotation, I turn to Ms. Audrey Hepburn:

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

I adore Marcel Proust

Well, I just spent an hour re-working my paper because it was awful. So, I'm desperately hoping that I improved it in some way.

I have another Proust quote that I find amazingly insightful and very true... thus, I am posting it:

"We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full."-- Remembrance of Things Past. The Sweet Cheat Gone.

Amazing quotation

Ok... I think I'm finished with the Lear/ Rivals paper.... although, I will probably re-read what I've written tomorrow and hate every word.

Well, I'm officially done with dwelling on this paper... because if I think about it anymore I will drive myself insane. Not too long ago, I read a quote by Proust and I absolutely adored it.... so I have to post it:

"Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind."-- Remembrance of Things Past. The Past Recaptured.

Lear/Rivals Paper

I'm really beginning to despise writing this paper. I have been trying to find a published, outside source, but none are really helpful.... why do we need an outside source anyway.... why can't we just use our own opinions to make the comparisons?

This really is infuriating.... I have written a little over a page, and I have no idea what else to write..... so much for enjoying my day off! (I hope everyone pick up on the sarcasm)

Monet Monday: 11/3/08

"A Sassenheim près de Haarlem, champ de tulipes" was done by Monet in 1866. I absolutely love the color of the farm house, and the combination of colors in the field.